Breakups are messy. But mine?
Mine involved cold cuts and public humiliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After finally kicking my ex, Alex, out of my life, I thought I was free. But a week later, he showed up at my doorstep holding a grocery bag like some kind of sad, meat-based peace offering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inside: a dozen eggs and half a pound of bologna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No note. No apology. Just a weird, greasy silence and a mumbled, \u201cThought you could use this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took it, mostly just to shut the door without a fight.
Later, I tossed the bologna and made an omelet. End of story, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few hours later, I ran into a mutual friend at a coffee shop. We chatted briefly, and then he said something that made my stomach turn:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI saw Alex today. He was bragging that he bought you groceries<\/em> because you were struggling to eat<\/em> without him.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I blinked. Apparently, in Alex\u2019s warped little fantasy world, those $6 worth of breakfast basics<\/strong> were proof that I couldn\u2019t survive without him. He\u2019d even told people,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe looked so thankful\u2014like I saved her or something.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Let me be clear: I didn\u2019t ask for help. I didn\u2019t need help. And I definitely wasn\u2019t rescued by a man whose idea of generosity was discount deli meat.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n So, I texted him just three words: Moral of the story?<\/strong> Breakups are messy. But mine?Mine involved cold cuts and public humiliation. After finally kicking my ex, Alex, out of my life, I thought I was free. But… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realbuzz24.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\u201cHe what?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
\u201cKeep the bologna.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
Sometimes, the only thing your ex brings to the table\u2026
is exactly what he handed you:
full of bologna.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"